I have a couple of additional blog posts that are in the wings to release, but this is something that God put on my heart that I really wanted to share. I woke up this morning, translation, God woke me up this morning because He had something to say to me.
To be honest, I battle with fears of rejection really badly. I’ve struggled with it for pretty much my entire life. As a child, my family moved a lot and it was always hard to make new friends. Being the new kid is difficult because you never know what people in the new neighborhood are like or what they’re into. In one neighborhood, it might be all kids that like cartoon network and kiddie stuff. But in another neighborhood, the kids are more mature, listening to adult-esq music and having grown up conversations. I dealt with this several times in my childhood. My family moved, and I got introduced to a new set of kids.
To add to this dynamic, I was homeschooled, so I was different times two. I had to work two times harder to make friends. Because they wouldn’t get to know me at school, I had to learn to get to know them just outside, playing. In order to accelerate the process of making friends, I would adapt to whatever the culture was of the neighborhood. I would take on elements of personas that were not “Brittany” in order to fit in and make friends. It was my way of protecting myself from rejection.
Fast forward to years later, I have come to realize that a lot of who I’ve become is not who I am. I’ve become fragmented elements of multiple situations that I was put in which do not represent my true self, the person that God created me to be. For a long time, I’ve fought who God designed me to be, afraid that if I were to show my true self that people wouldn’t like me or they would be intimidated by me and reject me.
What God is doing in this season is revealing the truth of who He designed me to be. He is showing me that it’s important for me to see myself as He sees me and not allow fear to stand in the way of me being able to do what He called me to do. He is showing me how to trust that He has made me into who I am and the importance of FULLY embracing it.
Here’s my brief synopsis. God called the Israelites out of Egypt and gave them a promised land. But He didn’t give it to them “birthday present” style (meaning you do nothing for it), He gave it to them “I’m handing you a business” style. It takes work to possess and to be successful with it. In Numbers 13, the Israelites sent 12 guys out to take a look at this land. They wanted to see what they were getting into. When they saw the people who lived in the land, 10 out of 12 of these guys allowed what others perceived, even what they perceived of themselves, to keep them from obtaining what was already theirs.
Had these guys just known who their God was and who God said they were and believed what God said belonged to them, they could have possessed the promised land. But they let fear of being who they really were stop them. They let what others thought make them completely miss out on everything God told them they could have.
I’m done allowing rejection cause me to cower in fear. I’m done allowing rejection keep me from being and doing all that God has called me to be and all that He has called me to do. I refuse to completely miss out in an effort to please people and make them like me. That’s too great of a cost.
I want to follow Christ with all that’s in me. I want to chase after Him with reckless abandon. I want to see the person He designed me to be birth forth with confidence and boldness. And from today forward, I’m determined on growing there.
Help me: have any of you faced fears of rejection? Have you overcome it? If so, how? If you’re still dealing with rejection, what keeps you from being free from it?
I really want to hear from you all! This is a subject that I’m in currently and I’m pushing to grow. I’d love the support of community and would love to support others.
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